A Very Grateful Member of Secular A.A.

Forty years sober - those words still feel almost unreal to me. When I walked into my first AA meeting in Toronto on 16 January 1986, I did not know what to expect. My then girlfriend had given me an ultimatum after I came home that morning having drank my unemployment cheque while the rent was not paid and there was no food in the house. She told me that I was to go to an A.A. meeting or to get out of her life. For my part, I just wanted to have a place to sleep that night, so I went to A.A.!

I am not sure that I even wanted to stop drinking again. I had tried so many times and failed miserably. I had just about given up on the idea of being able to stay sober one day. But A.A. members did what they do best - they told me that I could indeed stop drinking, 24 hours at a time, and that my life would get better through the suggested 12 steps as a way of life. Did it ever, beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

I am extremely grateful to Alcoholics Anonymous and to the members I have met in the last forty years. It is because of the A.A. program and these individuals that I am sober today. Starting with Linus L., who was my sponsor for 34 years until he died of COVID in 2020. He was a father-like figure, mentor, and friend who showed me the ropes in terms of not only getting and staying sober, but to also enjoy sobriety and life in general.

He was the one who told me that it was through service - which is one of the three legacies of A.A. together with recovery and unity, that I could best show my gratitude. And I have always taken that advice to heart. I have done just about every job there is to do in A.A.: cleaning ashtrays back in the days when there was smoking at meetings, making coffee and setting up the room, being GSR, Intergroup Rep and/or treasurer at my group at various times, being a sponsor, sitting on the CPC/PI committee and chairing of the CTF committee and the Eastern Ontario Fall Conference, being DCM and putting on meetings at the local Ottawa jail for ten years as well as being volunteer coordinator for two years during that time, etc. It is fair to say that service has given me much more than what I contributed in terms of gaining a sense of self-worth, self-healing and getting to like myself over the years.

One of the contributions to A.A. I am most proud of is to have started the first secular meeting in Ottawa in 2016. I had become uneasy about some of the things that went on at my group for a decade or more but since I wanted to stay sober - and still do, I chose to ignore the religiosity present in my group. Thankfully, I discovered that there was a place in A.A. for people who were also concerned about the "God" thing like me. And I looked to what was happening in Toronto for guidance since they had a few secular meetings there.

I met some secular members twice a year at the Area Assembly in Kingston and decided to take the plunge and create one in Ottawa after registering it with A.A. World Services in New York and at the Ottawa Intergroup. I am happy to report that this group - the Secular Sobriety group which meets in Sandy Hill on Tuesdays, is still going strong and will celebrate its 10-year anniversary on 3 March. Everyone is welcome to join the festivities.

I have found renewed enthusiasm for A.A. in secular meetings. I believe that it opens the doors of A.A. more widely to the newcomer who may have issues with having to recite the Lord's prayer or having to meet in a Church for example. After all, it is hard to say to a newcomer that A.A. is a spiritual program rather than a religious one and recite a prayer that is in the Christian bible or to attract members from other religious backgrounds to enter a Christian Church to deal with their alcoholism.

By being neither religious nor irreligious, secular meetings focus on helping the newcomer get sober. And there seem to be a growing number of people in A.A. who support that idea. They are a very important part of my recovery. I am really impressed with the new generation of members who attend secular meetings. They are extremely thoughtful, intelligent and dedicated to their sobriety and secularism in A.A. I have a lot of respect for them. I think that the future of A.A. is in good hands.

There are now three secular meetings weekly in Ottawa - the aforementioned Secular Sobriety group, the Beyond Belief Secular group which also meets in person in Hintonburg on Thursdays, as well as the online meeting Secular Sundays. Secular members also organized the 4th biennial Secular Ontario Alcoholics Anonymous Roundup at the Lord Elgin Hotel in September 2025. It was a frank success.

I will be away the rest of this month and in February. My 40 year celebration will thus take place on 29 March at the Beyond Belief Secular group. I hope to see you there so that I can thank you in person for your help in keeping me sober.

In gratitude, Michel D. Beyond Belief Secular group